Tag Archives: health

No One is Perfect

Posted on February 21, 2013 by | Comments Off on No One is Perfect
I often forget that things cannot be as "perfect" as you want them to be, something which causes a lot of stress if I let it.  Today, after finding my son building a fort with the blocking mat pieces I brought home from the shop, in a moment of weakness, I pulled myself into my bedroom and cried for 5 minutes.  

When my husband noticed I had disappeared, he asked, "What's going on?"  I explained that I didn't want cat hair all over blocking mats, which led to him saying that the cats had already had a field day rubbing their faces all over them.  As he talked, I realized, that wasn't the only thing that was bothering me.  So, of course, tears welled up in my eyes again.

"Ok, now what?" my husband asks.  

"That's not the only thing bothering me," I say.  

"What else is it?"  To which I respond with the next thing that happens across my brain - I am a bit overwhelmed with Vincent being so ornery lately.  And Mr. Fix-It responds with, "Well, I gave you a list of day cares and pre-schools, why don't you call and set something up for Vincent?"

I shook my head, knowing that tomorrow I'll feel differently, because I just cannot seem to give up my little peanut.  And then, another wave of tears hits me.  "Did you just save a pile of issues to deal with?" my husband asks.  I shook my head.

"Next thing?"  

"Nothing," I say.  "Same s**t, different day."

"You want another baby, don't you?"  and I sheepishly shook my head.  He smiled, rubbed my back, and made a promise to me - it won't happen right now, but, he'd agree that another one can come along.  Something we haven't been able to agree on for a LONG time.

The moral of the story is...no one is perfect.  

In spite of my fear of losing another battle with anxiety, the anxiety still gets the best of me from time to time.  Right now, I choose to think of it as: I've been working very hard for the past several months, all hoping to find that perfect, happy place.  

Perhaps it's not perfection that I seek, not happiness, but satisfaction.  Satisfaction that my time has been well-spent.  That my son is comfortable and content (he'd be happy living in a cardboard box, as long as it was warm and had mommy and daddy by his side...let's face it, kids are pretty easily amused at age 3).  That my shop continues to grow.

What have I done so far this year:
  • Helped proof a pattern book
  • Released a 2-pattern e-book
  • Gone on vacation
  • Knit 5 projects from beginning to end
  • Finished another project in hibernation
  • Worked on a few designs
  • Hosted my best friend's bridal shower
  • Was Maid of Honor in my best friend's wedding
And the usual day to day stuff...I'm exhausted just thinking about it.  Oh well, at least everyone had a good time and things turned out great!  

Yes, I'm more than happy to add a newborn into the mix if and when the time comes, but for now, I'm working on being content with my work and staying healthy for all the things I have in front of me.  I'll even continue to shower Peanut with hugs and kisses every day while we enjoy our daily dance party in the shop (it's a great way to start the day or break up the monotony of a slow day).  :)

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Being a "Mom-trepreneur"

Posted on July 18, 2012 by | Comments Off on Being a "Mom-trepreneur"
As if being a mom to an energetic 2 year-old wasn't hard enough, adding entrepreneur to the job description comes with its own challenges.  Sure, I had my doubts, some guilt, and was even discouraged at times, but deep down, I knew that being in charge of something and making my own rules would pay off in the long run.  It quite possibly has allowed me to keep my sanity.  :)


"Smile!"
Now that we've been open for over a month, I am constantly being asked, "How do you do it?"  I especially get asked that by the people who've had the privilege of meeting my sweet, yet sassy son, Vincent.  Well, there are a few things that any working or business-owning mom can do to keep themselves and the little ones happy.


1. Faith/Confidence - First and foremost, faith in yourself and what you're doing is paramount.  I often have to remind myself, "I've got this."  Yes, I do get stressed and I do have bad days, but ultimately, I know that I can do this.  And for the spiritual or religious, faith in a higher power to give you strength to make it through the tough times (ie, sick days, low sales days, etc.).  When we struggle, it's easy to forget that we need this kind of support to get over the hump.  I even say prayers showing how thankful I am for spending another day in my shop with my beautiful boy.


2. Time Management - I cannot reiterate enough how time well spent can lead to increased success...or at least the satisfaction that you've done the best you can do with what you have.  Some benefit from routines or schedules.  I, personally, LOVE checklists/to-do lists.  This is a skill I was taught to do in college, which helped me graduate a semester earlier than my peers.  Now, I create to-do lists that start with the most important things that need to be done that day and end with things that would be nice if it was done, but was not necessarily a priority.  I also remind myself that the entire list does not have to be done.  Then, I further prioritize by what will require the most concentration and do those things while Vincent naps or after he goes to bed at night.  The benefit to that is, I get to concentrate on that task, it takes less time because there are no interruptions, and Vincent gets the attention he needs while he's awake.


3.  "Me Time" - Even if you don't work, you always need to set up some sort of regular "me time" for yourself.  That means, do something you enjoy doing without the kid(s), spouse, significant other around.  Easier said than done, right?  Look at it this way, even a 15 minute soak in the bath tub with your favorite scents or candles can suffice.  Yea, I know I get to knit a lot, which I enjoy doing, but I still take some time to myself every day.  I don't allow anyone to interrupt my morning shower routine so that I can get a little relaxation before I start a busy day.  Of course, that doesn't always happen, since Vincent may occasionally wake up early, or one of the cats starts howling at the bathroom door because they decide that my attention is needed right that very minute.  In some cases, I may even go to a movie on my own, which is a wonderful thing to do on a Saturday afternoon if hubby isn't working.


4.  Support - Let's face it, no one is perfect.  We all have our bad days or even things that get us down from time to time.  And I know I cannot do everything on my own.  It will save your sanity (and your child's as well) if you have someone you can vent to, someone who can help you when you get too busy (even with great time management skills this can happen), or just plain someone who will drive the getaway car when you've finally lost your mind and need to escape.  This is why I talk to my mother on a daily basis: it's therapeutic for the both of us.  She runs a bed and breakfast in the middle of nowhere, Illinois.  So we have our chat every morning about husbands, kids, or business, crack a few jokes, have some laughs, and then go on about the day.  Somehow it brightens my day to know that Vincent is oddly similar to myself and my brother and how we drove my mom batty when we were kids.  


So with all that being said, am I still crazy for running my own business while taking care of a Peanut?  Oh, did I mention that I'd like to have another at some point in the future (not now, but maybe after the business has been open for a year or two)?  Hubby thinks I'm nuts.  :)

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Being a "Mom-trepreneur"

Posted on July 18, 2012 by | Comments Off on Being a "Mom-trepreneur"
As if being a mom to an energetic 2 year-old wasn't hard enough, adding entrepreneur to the job description comes with its own challenges.  Sure, I had my doubts, some guilt, and was even discouraged at times, but deep down, I knew that being in charge of something and making my own rules would pay off in the long run.  It quite possibly has allowed me to keep my sanity.  :)


"Smile!"
Now that we've been open for over a month, I am constantly being asked, "How do you do it?"  I especially get asked that by the people who've had the privilege of meeting my sweet, yet sassy son, Vincent.  Well, there are a few things that any working or business-owning mom can do to keep themselves and the little ones happy.


1. Faith/Confidence - First and foremost, faith in yourself and what you're doing is paramount.  I often have to remind myself, "I've got this."  Yes, I do get stressed and I do have bad days, but ultimately, I know that I can do this.  And for the spiritual or religious, faith in a higher power to give you strength to make it through the tough times (ie, sick days, low sales days, etc.).  When we struggle, it's easy to forget that we need this kind of support to get over the hump.  I even say prayers showing how thankful I am for spending another day in my shop with my beautiful boy.


2. Time Management - I cannot reiterate enough how time well spent can lead to increased success...or at least the satisfaction that you've done the best you can do with what you have.  Some benefit from routines or schedules.  I, personally, LOVE checklists/to-do lists.  This is a skill I was taught to do in college, which helped me graduate a semester earlier than my peers.  Now, I create to-do lists that start with the most important things that need to be done that day and end with things that would be nice if it was done, but was not necessarily a priority.  I also remind myself that the entire list does not have to be done.  Then, I further prioritize by what will require the most concentration and do those things while Vincent naps or after he goes to bed at night.  The benefit to that is, I get to concentrate on that task, it takes less time because there are no interruptions, and Vincent gets the attention he needs while he's awake.


3.  "Me Time" - Even if you don't work, you always need to set up some sort of regular "me time" for yourself.  That means, do something you enjoy doing without the kid(s), spouse, significant other around.  Easier said than done, right?  Look at it this way, even a 15 minute soak in the bath tub with your favorite scents or candles can suffice.  Yea, I know I get to knit a lot, which I enjoy doing, but I still take some time to myself every day.  I don't allow anyone to interrupt my morning shower routine so that I can get a little relaxation before I start a busy day.  Of course, that doesn't always happen, since Vincent may occasionally wake up early, or one of the cats starts howling at the bathroom door because they decide that my attention is needed right that very minute.  In some cases, I may even go to a movie on my own, which is a wonderful thing to do on a Saturday afternoon if hubby isn't working.


4.  Support - Let's face it, no one is perfect.  We all have our bad days or even things that get us down from time to time.  And I know I cannot do everything on my own.  It will save your sanity (and your child's as well) if you have someone you can vent to, someone who can help you when you get too busy (even with great time management skills this can happen), or just plain someone who will drive the getaway car when you've finally lost your mind and need to escape.  This is why I talk to my mother on a daily basis: it's therapeutic for the both of us.  She runs a bed and breakfast in the middle of nowhere, Illinois.  So we have our chat every morning about husbands, kids, or business, crack a few jokes, have some laughs, and then go on about the day.  Somehow it brightens my day to know that Vincent is oddly similar to myself and my brother and how we drove my mom batty when we were kids.  


So with all that being said, am I still crazy for running my own business while taking care of a Peanut?  Oh, did I mention that I'd like to have another at some point in the future (not now, but maybe after the business has been open for a year or two)?  Hubby thinks I'm nuts.  :)

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Knitting: Good for Your Health

Posted on May 16, 2012 by | Comments Off on Knitting: Good for Your Health
Spiders.  Flying.  Toilets.  You name it.  No matter how bizarre, I was probably afraid of it.  It was a terrible way of going through life, and it hit a boiling point right around my sophomore year of college - on September 11, 2001.  When so many people were experiencing loss and the trauma of the images they'd seen on tv, I feared random acts to the point, I was afraid to leave my home (a tiny little private dormitory).  And in fact, I didn't...for an entire month.  Somehow, I had been scared from generalized anxiety to PTSD.  After years of doctors and many therapy sessions, being told to relax did not help.  


And then one day, I stumbled across my mother's stash of yarn.  I picked out this fuzzy black yarn.  I hadn't done any knitting in a couple of years, so I fumbled over a cast on and knit myself a scarf in one sitting.  The world had melted away and nothing else mattered.


Fast forward another few years and countless projects later.  I finally figured out why knitting commands so much from me.  It changed my life.  When I couldn't meditate on my own, repeating k2 p2 in my head as I finished each row of a ribbing, I was, in a sense, meditating.  If I focused enough, I could lose myself in the fiber.  So, no matter how many battles I had to fight with horrible bosses, unruly patients, or my husband, I could calm myself with knitting.


I'm proud to say that eleven years after that turning point, my panic attacks are few and far between, PTSD is a thing of the past, and I'm starting to claw my way in to the fiber arts industry.  Standing in the shadows is not an option for me anymore.  


I have been groomed for greatness my whole life, it's about time I finally got there.  Even if it's only in my own eyes.  Starting this business will hopefully only be the beginning.  What has knitting done for you?

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Knitting: Good for Your Health

Posted on May 16, 2012 by | Comments Off on Knitting: Good for Your Health
Spiders.  Flying.  Toilets.  You name it.  No matter how bizarre, I was probably afraid of it.  It was a terrible way of going through life, and it hit a boiling point right around my sophomore year of college - on September 11, 2001.  When so many people were experiencing loss and the trauma of the images they'd seen on tv, I feared random acts to the point, I was afraid to leave my home (a tiny little private dormitory).  And in fact, I didn't...for an entire month.  Somehow, I had been scared from generalized anxiety to PTSD.  After years of doctors and many therapy sessions, being told to relax did not help.  


And then one day, I stumbled across my mother's stash of yarn.  I picked out this fuzzy black yarn.  I hadn't done any knitting in a couple of years, so I fumbled over a cast on and knit myself a scarf in one sitting.  The world had melted away and nothing else mattered.


Fast forward another few years and countless projects later.  I finally figured out why knitting commands so much from me.  It changed my life.  When I couldn't meditate on my own, repeating k2 p2 in my head as I finished each row of a ribbing, I was, in a sense, meditating.  If I focused enough, I could lose myself in the fiber.  So, no matter how many battles I had to fight with horrible bosses, unruly patients, or my husband, I could calm myself with knitting.


I'm proud to say that eleven years after that turning point, my panic attacks are few and far between, PTSD is a thing of the past, and I'm starting to claw my way in to the fiber arts industry.  Standing in the shadows is not an option for me anymore.  


I have been groomed for greatness my whole life, it's about time I finally got there.  Even if it's only in my own eyes.  Starting this business will hopefully only be the beginning.  What has knitting done for you?

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